The benefits of wearing a keffiyeh

I live in a predominantly Mormon area of Mesa, Arizona. I'm a third generation American of Ukrainian and Greek heritage, who was raised in Appalachia as a Greek Orthodox Catholic, and educated at an Irish Catholic college with a bachelor's degree in English and a concentration in writing. There are a lot of odd cultural consequences to my situation. It presents me with an insight into some nuanced aspects of today’s religious and cultural divides.

Given my background and my interests, I think most people would either struggle to label me, or would confidently arrive at the wrong answer. In the wake of Jordan Peterson’s disastrous Jubilee appearance, where he agreed to participate ostensibly as a Christian but then refused to say what he actually believes, you might wonder how he does define himself. I can understand why devotees of his might warily eye my tattoos and CV, given what they think of those symbols and organizations. But are my tattoos, fascination with John Milton’s Paradise Lost, and prior work history “religious in nature”, as Peterson would say? Honestly, I don’t think most people have read Paradise Lost thoroughly enough to judge. 

Here’s a video to get you started:

I will say that I still think my weird kids' book, “We’ve Got Everything Here: A Nightmare”, is superior to Jordan’s “The ABCs of Childhood Tragedy”, but I leave that to the readers to decide. 

Despite standing outside the mainstream, my privilege protects me in some ways. I don’t have any immediate concerns about a MAGA Gestapo coming after religious irregulars like myself. That's why, as a single dad, I reserve the right to wear a shemagh—otherwise known as a keffiyeh—in the desert heat without worrying about being scooped up by ICE or deported to an El Salvador megaprison.

Not necessarily a political thing

Where I live, the temperature frequently hits 100 degrees and the UV index goes up to 12. Old people should be walking around town with nice cool damp large linen scarf things. They’re handy for kids too. You can soak the shemagh and keep it in a plastic bag with some ice. Then, when you’re leaving the movies with your kid, you pull it out and let the kid wear it like a cape to the car to keep them cool until the air conditioning kicks in. Then you get to wrap it around your neck. It’s great. Every dad out here should have one. 

It’s also handy to have something to cover your face and head if a haboob pops up, like one time in 2011 when the city looked like that scene from The Mummy: 

We haven’t had a dust storm that big in a while, but they can spring up out of nowhere. They’re infrequent, but more frequent than tear gas attacks... at least for now. 

The problem is, shemaghs are seen as politicized garments, due to their association with Muslim-majority countries—the Palestinian cause in particular. But I live in the desert. Climatically, it is like many Muslim-majority countries. We get the haboobs. It regularly goes over 100 degrees for months on end. It’s just a good idea to have a shemagh handy. 

In the Southwest, I think shemaghs are thoroughly practical garments for gig workers, teachers, parents, grandparents, childcare workers, and anyone else who may be in solidarity with one side or the other, but currently in the “somebody’s got to take care of the kids while y’all are playing soldiers versus peasants” industry. 

Think of doctors and nurses just trying to get to and from their shift. What should they wear so that ICE agents and protestors both know to let them go where they’re going, or else innocent people are going to die?

Let's all be less eager to judge

As a side benefit, if more people wore shemaghs for their practical benefits in hot and arid climates, they'd become more normalized, and then maybe trigger-happy government goons wouldn't be so quick to reach for the tear gas when they spot one. I was at a Trump rally one time in Phoenix. I saw it from inside and outside the event. It’s hard to tell who’s who when smoke and rubber bullets are flying. Imagine ICE raids a neighborhood and someone’s Yiayia gets beaned by a tear gas canister for wearing a babushka that “looked Middle Eastern” to Sargeant Chucklehead the meme-addled Christian 30-something in Temu stormtrooper gear. That just won’t do.

If we were all less eager to judge everyone by what they're wearing, that could only be a good thing. Maybe, just maybe, it would make us less prejudiced, more tolerant of differences, and less fearful of cultures and religions that are different from our own. It might even make us just a little bit less likely to get into yet another stupid war.

I want to do my part. So I found this (and I swear this is not a paid endorsement, but it is my Amazon associate link) Rothco Stars and Stripes US Flag Shemagh Tactical Desert Keffiyeh Scarf from good old Army-Navy surplus store staple company Rothco. I wear mine a lot while doddering around the house and pool. Sometimes I throw it on to drive to the store or wear it to the park. I’m a fan. 

A fan of shemaghs, and 17th century English literature, who’s just a single dad trying to get the groceries.