The feminist future of straight sex: After the "male loneliness epidemic"

Sex in the future will involve more male submission to women, especially with regard to the prostate gland and post-orgasmic over-stimulation.

Now we’re getting into The Real Stuff! Today we’re going to tie together the threads of consent culture and femdom, and extrapolate even further to see how they will result in Male Refractory Period Circumvention, and it will be Extremely Sexy For Everyone. You see, I know the deep dark secret of the so-called Male Loneliness Epidemic. And here it is, Deedee Redletter’s Grand Unified Theory Of Female-Hating Manbabies:

They’re scared of female pleasure because they’re ashamed of their own. That’s it, that’s the theory.

Who gets the better end of the sexual stick?

As a famous anecdote, I offer the story of the blind Greek prophet, Tiresias. Supposedly, he was transformed by the gods into a woman, and lived that way long enough that people asked him, “Who enjoys sex more? Men or women?” Tiresias thought about that and replied that women enjoy sex nine times more than men. And some men (you know which ones) have been butthurt about it ever since.

Just take a look at these screenshots (content warning for YIKES!):

The four stages of the human sexual response cycle are, in order from baseline: arousal, plateau, climax, and resolution. In men, the resolution phase brings with it a refractory period: anywhere from ten minutes to twenty-four hours in which Mister Penis is too sleepy to play. For this reason, once a man climaxes, he’s done. In this state, anything that even threatens to arouse Mister Penis is unbearable. This is why men make such a big deal about "post-nut clarity." When sex is finally off the brain, things are much clearer, because the Biological Imperative shuts up for a blessed minute.

Except…

Misconceptions about the sexual response cycle

Like almost all Western medicine, this was initially modeled off of men, treating the average male experience as normative. In reality, things get a little more complex. For one thing, most women do not have a refractory period—although I’ve known a few ladies who are One and Done, that was kind of a trip the first time. Some men don’t have refractory periods, either, but that’s also quite rare.

So what does that mean for our resolution? Some people are a little tired afterwards, so they feel like a nap. Some people could keep going, could use a snack, but maybe a little cuddling is enough for now. And some people… don’t ever want to stop. I once dated a hypersexual woman who, one summer’s day abed, was utterly shocked to find that she was experiencing resolution for the first time in her life. In her words, “Holy shit, Deedee—I don’t have sex on the brain any more! I can relax! I’m not thinking about sex for the first time in my adult life!” It came back in ten minutes—but for those ten minutes, I cured her.

My own version of hypersexuality is that I don’t have a “baseline” state, I just return back to “arousal.” I am always ready to go, I’m one of those dedicated sluts who always wants it. Not from just anyone, mind you, but my sex drive is always there and always on. (I’m also always in control of myself, I’ve been professionally evaluated for this.)

A quick note, because it is a statistical certainty that some of you have heard the term “hypersexual” before, but only as it relates to hypersexuality disorder (a.k.a. sexual addiction, formerly nymphomania/satyriasis). This is a matter of puritanical shorthand, because while non-disordered hypersexuality is known to the medical and scientific communities, we don’t really research or talk about it. This, unfortunately, leads a lot of people into thinking that disordered hypersexuality is the only kind, and that’s just not so.

But getting back to deviations from the norm, the point is that the cycle doesn’t have to go from climax to resolution. In fact, a favorite lesbian pastime is pursuing “cyclical orgasms,” where you keep the stimulation at just the right intensity to go from climax, back to plateau, back to climax, then plateau, then another climax… repeat until either boredom or muscular exhaustion sets in.

Now get this: in the right hands, men can also have cyclical orgasms. There are plenty of videos of women slowly and unstoppably working men through multiple orgasms. It’s a whole genre of porn that I’ve hardly heard anyone talk about. (Why is a Big City Dyke watching straight porn when she could be at an all-female orgy? Because human sexuality is my autistic special interest, and I therefore take a documentary approach to porn.)

Men's ace in the hole

And if your noodle ain’t fully fried yet, get this: men can even have squirting orgasms, where they’ve been pleasured so much that their body dumps a bunch of saline and other sex chemicals into the bladder and they fully lose bladder control. So, men who are jealous of female pleasure have some good news available: you can experience the very same heights of pleasure—except for status orgasmus, the legendary “sustained orgasm” that can last in the neighborhood of thirty separate orgasmic contractions across forty-five minutes or so. That one actually is ladies only, as far as we can tell.

But don't worry, guys—you have another ace in your hole, so to speak, in the prostate gland. Often called "the male clitoris," a nickname as awkward as it is anatomically misleading, this lovely little laddie love-button is located almost exactly your own middle finger's length up the anus, past the rectum, and just into the colon. Touching it feels, in size and springiness, about like touching the tip of your nose. (Ladies go nuts for guys touching their noses while thinking of this for the first time.)

The prostate throws the whole male sexual response cycle into a cocked hat. Some men instantly orgasm when it's so much as stroked, while some need it to be gently pressed and massaged for a while. And then, they might go into a refractory period, or might be ready to go again right away. For some guys, it's different every time, basically like a sexual "shuffle" button.

Now, I'll be the first to tell you that with orgasms, quality is more important than quality. However, I can also tell you that quantity has a quality all its own (an idea I've seen variously attributed to Stalin, Pershing, and Callaghan, so it depends where you look). Moreover, successive orgasms for anyone can follow an upward curve in intensity, as long as you take your time and communicate and relax. Some people like the intensity, even the pain, of prolonged overstimulation —but my point is that, with enough connection and patience, it doesn't even have to be painful.

The thing is, if a man does somehow allow himself into that space, where he is trusting someone else to push him slowly but inexorably through wave after wave of orgasm… that’s a really vulnerable place for him to be! Even if he's not in any pain! And a man experiencing that vulnerability, getting in touch with that part of himself—and horror of horrors, letting a woman guide him through it? Especially if she puts something up his butt? That is a Wombo Combo to toxic masculinity, just for him to be able to get to that point!

And like, I get it. If you're not used to putting things in your butt, it can be intimidating. It took me until my thirties to start experimenting back there. And since arousal progressively lowers your disgust threshold, I worried what I might do "in a state" that I might later regret. So I understand what it's like to have some trepidation in this area, and while I'm not saying every man has to be cool with being anally penetrated, I am saying that if your main reason you're not doing so is "because it's gay," then you are not only wrong but also missing out.

Of course, the real worry is that men experimenting with anal is like giving a mouse a cookie: try one forbidden thing, and you might try others. You might try them all. And then pretty soon, we're all having sex for pleasure instead of for making babies, and society collapses somehow. This is why manosphere chuds are so emphatic that men not pursue sex for anyone's pleasure, and only as a procreative duty: controlling men into controlling women, to keep society working in microcosm at all levels, and thereby satisfy the capitalist drive to breed humans like livestock. Why on Earth do you think the current administration is trying to pay people to have kids, and also stripping away supports for those very children once born? It's all the same stuff. 

This is why sex culture and sexual politics matter. They are an axis of oppression, and we are not free until we have dismantled them all. As for why sex should be such a priority in that greater scheme, that gets into pleasure activism and ethical hedonism and other topics for future columns. Until then, stay tuned!